You're a fucking human being.

And when you attach yourself and your mind to any ideology, you're going to be on a road. And that road may or may not lead you in a good direction. But you're going to stay on that fucking road if you're attached to an ideology. And it could be a terrible road! It could be a road of circumcising your daughter's clitoris because that's the fucking tradition. Look at these crazy bitches in Africa that stretch out their lips to put plates in; why is that? Because they got on a fucking road and they stuck with that road, regardless of rational thinking. They didn't use rational thinking at all. They just adapted a pre-determined pattern of behavior that makes life so much more simple.

And that's what every fucking religion is! The problem is no one knows. You can not know. You can have your own beautiful personal experiences. You could have even been the person that was actually touched by God. But when you start yelling and ranting that everyone needs to follow your lead or the world's going to end and the Christians are going to be taken away, I know you're full of shit. I know you're full of shit and you know you're full of shit. And the problem is we can't say it because everyone's got this "freedom of religion, freedom of religion, religious freedom, freedom to express yourself." Even if what you're expressing is nonsense. Nonsense that helps scared, lonely people lock on to that nonsense, so they feel like they're a part of something. That's what it is! It preys on people whose lives fucking suck.

So, it's all nuts! It's not like your shit's cool, but my shit's not. And it's not that yoga is the answer or fucking mushrooms are the answer. There's just questions. And until we're honest about that, we're never going to evolve. The human race is stuck is a giant quagmire when it comes to our behavior and our thinking about our behavior. And there comes a certain point in time when you gotta pop the training wheels off. And you need to realize that all this morality you've developed is good because it's good to treat other people good. It's good to treat others the way you'd like to be treated yourself. It's the fucking golden rule and there's a reason for that and that reason is that we're connected in some strange way that we don't totally understand. Unless you're good to those around you, unless you're kind and friendly and warm and loving, you're not going to enjoy this life. You're just not! You're going to have problems everywhere you go. So, you gotta figure out how to enjoy this fucking life.

And it's not because of Jesus. It's not because of Moses. It's not because of anyone that may or may not have ever existed. It's because that's how you fit in better in this world. That's how you stay positive. It doesn't have to be some shit that was written down 5,000 years ago on some animal skin. It doesn't have to be the golden rule because it's old. That's dumb. You need to figure out life now today. What is the best way to live your life? There have got to be ways for you to put forward the most positive energy. We know objectively what's causing pollution. We know objectively what's causing birth defects. We know we're taking in too many chemicals and not enough vitamins. We know know objectively all this stuff. We know how to organize our world and yet we don't do it. We know how to organize our health and yet very few people do it. The right path to being a happy, healthy person is just to do all the shit we already know we're supposed to do. Take care of your body, take care of your health, take care of your mind, your stress, meditate, be kind to people. We already know that! You can ask anybody and they know how to get by and be the most evolved version of you that you can be. It's not a magical checklist.

If you had a person you wanted to improve what would you do to improve them? OK, well if I was his life coach I'd say: this guy's gotta get on a diet that makes him healthy. I don't mean a diet just to lose weight, I just mean putting healthy food in your body. Many, many vegetables, a lot of good quality protein, a lot of water. Stop the soda. Stop the bullshit. And start exercising your body and get a better sense of how this machine feels when it's moving and flowing better with less tension in it. Then your mind feels relaxed and you will enjoy every single moment of the day better. That's step one everybody knows that step right?

What's step two? Be cool to people. Be as nice to as many people as you can. Smile at as many people as you can and have them smile back at you. Tip well when you go to restaurants. Be as nice as you can without letting people walk all over you.

What else? Do what you want to do with you life! Don't be doing something you don't enjoy. Don't get locked into a car you can't afford. Don't start doing something crazy because you need the money. Do what YOU want to do. What the fuck is it you really want to do? Because if someone else is doing it, you can do it. Everyone has to make their own path through this world, but a lot of people don't follow the path they feel really pulled to. For whatever reason, they got negative programming. Maybe when they were a kid someone told them they couldn't do it or to take a shortcut or to take the sure route. And that's a sad thing...

-- Joe Rogan

 

So I’m trying to take a shit and some guy is loudly moaning at the urinal. He’s also talking to himself. “Gibberish gibberish I RECOMMEND YOU DONT gibberish gibberish I’ll see y’all in the car!” Send help.

How often do you think babies think about money? The answer is never. They expect life to hand them everything. The baby, like the communist, loves to leech the life off the free man, then plots to destroy the host; but, alas, fails to realize that when the host dies the baby, too, well perish without his precious bottle of milk. Futile will be baby’s cries of “goo goo gah gah” in the end.

Murray Rothbard, On Why Babies Suck (1949)

(Source: daddyofluchalibre)

A robber who justified his theft by saying that he really helped his victims, by his spending giving a boost to retail trade, would find few converts; but when this theory is clothed in Keynesian equations and impressive references to the “multiplier effect,” it unfortunately carries more conviction.

Murray Rothbard, Anatomy of the State (via ceterisparadise)

In the hospital about to be prepped for surgery. Wish me luck!

daaangsteezy:

OMFG IM SCREAMING THIS IS LITERALLY ME OMG IM KICKING MY WALL I CANT BREATHE HOLY SHIT

(Source: overlordleaveshiswife)

Male author: I guess women are people

Fans: I CAN'T STOP CRYING, THIS IS WHAT A FEMINIST LOOKS LIKE!

kingofthesky:

sweatmorebleedless:

awwww-cute:

Moment of bravery at the vet

:o

THIS IS PROBABLY THE CUTEST FUCKING THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. FFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

kingofthesky:

sweatmorebleedless:

awwww-cute:

Moment of bravery at the vet

:o

THIS IS PROBABLY THE CUTEST FUCKING THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. FFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

freexcitizen:

chrisray:

cyber-lycanthrope:

when did this become hotter than this

Well, this is the dumbest thing I’ve seen all day.

Some serious crack has been smoked

Tumblr politics at it’s finest 

freexcitizen:

chrisray:

cyber-lycanthrope:

when did this become hotter than this

Well, this is the dumbest thing I’ve seen all day.

Some serious crack has been smoked

Tumblr politics at it’s finest 

fstw:

rosaparking:

Ppl keep asking me bj tips in my inbox so here’s one

Get on your knees look up at him say “Feed me” then open your mouth wide

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZuKMo9u8CM