You're a fucking human being.

And when you attach yourself and your mind to any ideology, you're going to be on a road. And that road may or may not lead you in a good direction. But you're going to stay on that fucking road if you're attached to an ideology. And it could be a terrible road! It could be a road of circumcising your daughter's clitoris because that's the fucking tradition. Look at these crazy bitches in Africa that stretch out their lips to put plates in; why is that? Because they got on a fucking road and they stuck with that road, regardless of rational thinking. They didn't use rational thinking at all. They just adapted a pre-determined pattern of behavior that makes life so much more simple.

And that's what every fucking religion is! The problem is no one knows. You can not know. You can have your own beautiful personal experiences. You could have even been the person that was actually touched by God. But when you start yelling and ranting that everyone needs to follow your lead or the world's going to end and the Christians are going to be taken away, I know you're full of shit. I know you're full of shit and you know you're full of shit. And the problem is we can't say it because everyone's got this "freedom of religion, freedom of religion, religious freedom, freedom to express yourself." Even if what you're expressing is nonsense. Nonsense that helps scared, lonely people lock on to that nonsense, so they feel like they're a part of something. That's what it is! It preys on people whose lives fucking suck.

So, it's all nuts! It's not like your shit's cool, but my shit's not. And it's not that yoga is the answer or fucking mushrooms are the answer. There's just questions. And until we're honest about that, we're never going to evolve. The human race is stuck is a giant quagmire when it comes to our behavior and our thinking about our behavior. And there comes a certain point in time when you gotta pop the training wheels off. And you need to realize that all this morality you've developed is good because it's good to treat other people good. It's good to treat others the way you'd like to be treated yourself. It's the fucking golden rule and there's a reason for that and that reason is that we're connected in some strange way that we don't totally understand. Unless you're good to those around you, unless you're kind and friendly and warm and loving, you're not going to enjoy this life. You're just not! You're going to have problems everywhere you go. So, you gotta figure out how to enjoy this fucking life.

And it's not because of Jesus. It's not because of Moses. It's not because of anyone that may or may not have ever existed. It's because that's how you fit in better in this world. That's how you stay positive. It doesn't have to be some shit that was written down 5,000 years ago on some animal skin. It doesn't have to be the golden rule because it's old. That's dumb. You need to figure out life now today. What is the best way to live your life? There have got to be ways for you to put forward the most positive energy. We know objectively what's causing pollution. We know objectively what's causing birth defects. We know we're taking in too many chemicals and not enough vitamins. We know know objectively all this stuff. We know how to organize our world and yet we don't do it. We know how to organize our health and yet very few people do it. The right path to being a happy, healthy person is just to do all the shit we already know we're supposed to do. Take care of your body, take care of your health, take care of your mind, your stress, meditate, be kind to people. We already know that! You can ask anybody and they know how to get by and be the most evolved version of you that you can be. It's not a magical checklist.

If you had a person you wanted to improve what would you do to improve them? OK, well if I was his life coach I'd say: this guy's gotta get on a diet that makes him healthy. I don't mean a diet just to lose weight, I just mean putting healthy food in your body. Many, many vegetables, a lot of good quality protein, a lot of water. Stop the soda. Stop the bullshit. And start exercising your body and get a better sense of how this machine feels when it's moving and flowing better with less tension in it. Then your mind feels relaxed and you will enjoy every single moment of the day better. That's step one everybody knows that step right?

What's step two? Be cool to people. Be as nice to as many people as you can. Smile at as many people as you can and have them smile back at you. Tip well when you go to restaurants. Be as nice as you can without letting people walk all over you.

What else? Do what you want to do with you life! Don't be doing something you don't enjoy. Don't get locked into a car you can't afford. Don't start doing something crazy because you need the money. Do what YOU want to do. What the fuck is it you really want to do? Because if someone else is doing it, you can do it. Everyone has to make their own path through this world, but a lot of people don't follow the path they feel really pulled to. For whatever reason, they got negative programming. Maybe when they were a kid someone told them they couldn't do it or to take a shortcut or to take the sure route. And that's a sad thing...

-- Joe Rogan

 

college: Why should we accept you

me: *raps the entire verse of anaconda and laughs nicki's nasty laugh flawlessly*

college: damn son you in

askaspookyskeleton:

askaspookyskeleton:

askaspookyskeleton:

this guy was watching spooky scary skeletons with me and now he’s educating himself how precious is that

he keeps asking me all these questions about aspects of the skeleton war and he’s like “so basically it’s about letting skeletons fight their meatbag fuckboi enemies without being judged for it” and I was like yea and he was like “oh okay that’s so simple why isn’t everyone a skeleton warrior” it’s precious

Update: I boned him

askaspookyskeleton:

askaspookyskeleton:

askaspookyskeleton:

this guy was watching spooky scary skeletons with me and now he’s educating himself how precious is that

he keeps asking me all these questions about aspects of the skeleton war and he’s like “so basically it’s about letting skeletons fight their meatbag fuckboi enemies without being judged for it” and I was like yea and he was like “oh okay that’s so simple why isn’t everyone a skeleton warrior” it’s precious

Update: I boned him

harboua:

I have no patience for American Christians who are so worried about Iraqi Christians now that ISIS is threatening them when they didn’t say shit when it was their own country bombing them. 

amerikoismywaifu:

eternallybliss:


This is so perfect, for the time you look at this image, you don’t know if it’s a boy and girl, a girl and a girl, a boy and a boy, a black man and a white girl, a white man and an asian girl, you know nothing. Just the simplicity of the connection and the beauty of two human beings sharing love and that is all that should ever matter.

Actually, Due to the slight prognathism of the maxilla, the smaller more rounded cranial vault. The sharper and less defined lower mandible, and less protruding supraobital ridges, the conclusion can be reached that the individual on the left is female, and of African American decent. However the individual on the right shows a larger more oblong cranium, heaver more protruding supraobital ridges, a flatter maxilla with less prognathism. Also the lower mandible of this individual is heaver, more defined and square. From the presence of these features the conclusion can be reached that the individual on the right is male of Caucasian decent. Also due to the advanced (but not complete) obliteration of the cranial sutures, and the presence of a third molar in each individuals, it can also be said that both of these individuals are between the ages of 25 and 40. 

i just

amerikoismywaifu:

eternallybliss:

This is so perfect, for the time you look at this image, you don’t know if it’s a boy and girl, a girl and a girl, a boy and a boy, a black man and a white girl, a white man and an asian girl, you know nothing. Just the simplicity of the connection and the beauty of two human beings sharing love and that is all that should ever matter.

Actually, Due to the slight prognathism of the maxilla, the smaller more rounded cranial vault. The sharper and less defined lower mandible, and less protruding supraobital ridges, the conclusion can be reached that the individual on the left is female, and of African American decent. However the individual on the right shows a larger more oblong cranium, heaver more protruding supraobital ridges, a flatter maxilla with less prognathism. Also the lower mandible of this individual is heaver, more defined and square. From the presence of these features the conclusion can be reached that the individual on the right is male of Caucasian decent. Also due to the advanced (but not complete) obliteration of the cranial sutures, and the presence of a third molar in each individuals, it can also be said that both of these individuals are between the ages of 25 and 40. image

i just

If you’re not following Jacy Catlin on Twitter you’re missing out. 

If you’re not following Jacy Catlin on Twitter you’re missing out. 

Oh screamers are still a fucking thing? okay… 

nerd-utopia:

Jackie Cruz and Diane Guerrero (Photos: Sarah Balch for InStyle.com)